As I write this, there are tears streaming down my cheeks. I honestly do not know if I have ever been more upset in my life. Before I explain what happened, I am just going to say this- people who insult people with disabilities are the lowest life form.
I was sitting in the common room of my dorm building and I overheard this guy saying something about someone and saying that she was "crippled" (and he wasn't talking about me). I should mention that this guy and his best friend do not like one of my friends, and although I have done not one single rude thing to them, they have chosen to lump me with my friend and be rude to me. Previously they had just given me the silent treatment, but I had actually thought they were over it, because today his best friend was speaking to me like normal. I could not have been more wrong.
When he said the thing about some girl being "crippled" I turned around and said, "we don't use that term, please." I simply was trying to show him that "crippled" is generally viewed as a derogatory term (although there are some people trying to reclaim it and change the meaning, I'd say overall it has a more negative connotation). I was not being rude, simply trying to make him aware of his word choice. In any other situation I am positive that the person would have apologized or asked what word to use instead (the answer is "disabled," which has the most positive connotation).
The interesting thing is that I was not actually that offended by the word "crippled," I was just trying to give him a better word to use. However, after I corrected him, I was greeted with hostility. He clearly was very angry, because he shouted at me, "CRIPPLED, HANDICAPPED, WHATEVER. IT'S ALL THE SAME. HER LEGS DON'T FUCKING WORK."
I did not even know how to respond, so I just left the room before I started crying. Let me be honest, if I was a confrontational person, I probably would have decked him in the face. I am not the kind of person who wants to deck someone in the face, but man, did I want to. He said those words as a clear attack on me, and I had never before had someone insult me like that for being disabled.
Most of the time when people are being ableist, they do it by accident in the form of condescension. I think this is because there is a general consensus in society that people should not be dicks to people who had no choice about becoming disabled, because anyone, with any skin colour, sexual orientation, or gender can become disabled. Therefore I believe that most ableism is not on purpose. Today I learned that there are actually some people who do not give a single shit about other people's feelings (maybe I should have already known this, but I think I had some hope left for the world).
By this time, I have now stopped crying, but I want to point out that the reason I am writing this, is because no person who is disabled should ever have to experience the type of hatred that I have today. Ableism is NOT acceptable.
I am not just some woman who is "crippled, handicapped, whatever," whose "legs don't fucking work." I am a badass who has gone through more things than most people will in a lifetime. I am stronger than a weak-minded person who feels the need to make someone feel bad about being disabled. I am beautiful and I am smart and I am different, and my disability has made me a better person. I will not apologize for who I am, and if you do not accept me and my disability, then you might as well get out of my way so that I can surround myself with people who will.
