A Cheesy Blog Post

Sometimes I wonder why. 

Why am I here? Why are we all here?

Why do I exist in this way?

Why is it that we get this one life, just for it to be so fucking difficult?

To learn. That's what they say. Life's lessons. Everyone has their own issues. But why did I appear on this giant floating space rock, lucky enough to have the human experience and yet have to do it with paralysis? Kinda rude, God. 

I was served a shit sandwich. I somehow turned it into manure to grow a pretty awesome garden for myself, but I still wonder why I was served a shit sandwich in the first place? And the thing with the beautiful garden you grow for yourself is that sometimes you still have to deal with the leftover shit from the sandwich, and also other outside shit that comes along too (thanks, birds). Most days you don't notice it, but others it's all you notice. Is this making sense to anyone? 

So yesterday I was having a rough day (outside shit), and I was crying on and off, and I was in physical pain. I was feeling irritable and tired, and I felt like I couldn't deal with anything. But I tried to pull myself together. I was going to turn my day around. I had plans with a friend, and that was a good thing. Then I learned something from someone else that made me once again upsetti spaghetti. I was sad and overwhelmed, and felt like it was just the icing on the cake for my day. And then I drove home and pissed myself while trying to get out of the car. 

Right in front of my house. Didn't make it to the bathroom, and pissed myself right in the street. I'm not talking a little bit. I was sitting in a fucking puddle. Now THAT was the icing on the cake. 

Fuck you, world. 

It totally sucked, and today sucked too. But now, I am feeling better, and it's funny. I peed myself just feet away from my bathroom, because I can't hold my bladder very well!

It used to happen all the time, but it hadn't in ages. It's like life was reminding me, in an annoying way, that it can always get worse. But also that it can get better. So I peed myself once recently. Who cares! That's way better than before, when it was an almost daily occurrence. 

So anyway I've talked enough about my bladder now; the point is that sometimes life sucks, but sometimes the sucky stuff can be kinda funny. And you pick yourself up, dust yourself off for the millionth time, and you face the difficulties again. But you are stronger now. 

I still don't know why these are the cards I have been dealt, but they are my cards nonetheless. I think eventually they will be a winning hand, and maybe then I'll understand that they were the cards I needed all along.

That was so cheesy of me, but you get it. The point is that shit always seems to get better eventually.