In the Better Days

So here I am- two weeks later, and back with another blog post! Am I going to stay consistent with these now? Who knows. I do know that for the last two weeks I have been slowly gaining more motivation to do things. Even though my lexapro is still not fully in effect, it disrupted the anxiety/panic attack cycle. That alone has made my life massively more enjoyable.

In the last two weeks, I have been more social than I have been in months. A couple days ago, I ate three full-sized meals throughout the day (because I had the energy to make them, and no nausea from anxiety!). I actually have a good appetite again, and I am very happy about it. I also have been doing my makeup in the morning more often. I have been sleeping better, and waking up earlier. There have been SO many positive changes. 

I have been spending a lot more time with my amazing brother (love you, Kev!), his awesome girlfriend, and his new roommate. We have watched movies together (if you haven't seen Prey yet, you need to) and played Mario Party (I swear I will win eventually!). I also got to see one of my best friends a couple times. 

For the first time in a while, life has just been good. It feels like my brain is quiet, tranquil. I'm not constantly going in circles about something that may or may not happen in the future. Not worrying about everything all the time.

I am dancing. I am singing. I am laughing. I'm looking at things from a glass-half-full perspective now. Hopefully things will continue to go in this direction. I am sure there will be some bumps in the road- there always are- but I feel confident things will still be mostly good.

Before I wrap this up, I want to include something not so great that happened to me today. Even though it's unrelated to my mental health journey with lexapro, it still is something that affects my mental health in a way. Today I went to the local coffee shop, and I opened the door for myself. Often times people are very nice and open the door for me, but of course, I am able to do it myself. The door is ADA compliant, as most doors are, or at least should be. As I opened the door, an older woman said to me, "good girl." 

I am not a dog. I do not need praise for completing extremely basic tasks. I am a grown-ass woman. A badass woman. I happen to be disabled, yes, but that does not make me less than an able-bodied person. So stop fucking patronizing us. I am not an animal. I am not a child.

I wanted to include that so that hopefully other people can learn from it too. We all have a lot to learn. 

I would like to leave this post on a good note, so I will finish by saying this: Life can always get better. Even when you feel like giving up, know that there really will be better days ahead. I know because I am in the better days.