The Career Path to Happiness

I have too much to tell you. Where do I even start? Do I write this in parts? I suppose I will start with this- I am doing very well right now. 

I have struggled a lot since I moved back to the US, and I feel like I am finally in a good spot. I am happy. So how did I get here?

I realized somewhat recently that my constant struggle to find happiness was actually the very thing keeping me from being happy. For so long I was trying to figure out my next step in life. Do I go back to Germany? I was happy there. Maybe I will only ever be happy like that in Germany. Maybe I will never be happy here in the US. But if I move back to Germany I will be far from my family, and I will have to deal with my growing health concerns alone. So maybe Germany is not the answer?

I felt torn for so long. I needed to figure out specifically what I wanted in my life. So I came up with a list. 

I need good healthcare. I do not ever want to worry about my coverage. I need a career that does not take up all of my energy, because I do not have as much energy as able-bodied people. I need it to also interest me, and makes me feel like I have a purpose. I need to be able to travel. I have people I love all over the world, and I will not ever be happy if I cannot visit them. I need my own place to live. I need a group of friends my age who I can spend time with regularly. These things are necessary for my happiness. 

I figured out how to check those boxes. I want to be a high school teacher. I will have healthcare, time off, and a good enough salary to travel and eventually get my own place. The goal is to eventually teach Spanish and/or German, but for now I just want to get my foot in the door and start on my credential. 

For the first time in the last two years, I am truly excited about the future. I used to tell people I had xyz planned for my future, but I never really felt confident in those plans. I would be excited but also filled with dread, always questioning if I was making the right decision. I feel no dread about this decision. I feel lighter. 

I'm nervous about it of course, but I am mostly excited for what the future holds. Since I have decided this, I actually started putting in more effort to meet people. I have made a ton of new friends, and it's actually been quite easy. It almost feels like people can sense this new confidence and joy I have, because people have been coming up to me more often too. Also, for a while I was hoping to fill the void I felt with a relationship. It was not happening. It turned out that I had to fill that void myself. I had to find joy within myself. I had to work on what I wanted alone first. 

Now that I am happy with who I am and excited about my own life, I am actually having success dating too. It's kind of amazing how life works. Once I stopped looking, something found me. I'm not going to share too many details right now, but I am letting life happen and am enjoying the ride. I will be sure to update you all as time goes on, both regarding dating and my very exciting future career. 

Until then, lots of love and hugs to everyone.